All the good writers do not post often

or at least that is what I keep telling myself when I remember, “oh yeah, I have blog!” There has been a lot going on that I will try to get caught up on in the next day or two, namely that I have Celiac Disease; which I plan to blog a lot about here. This means a minor shift in the focus on the blog. I will plan to get back to telling stories of being an stay at home dad, and cooking (gluten free now) and such, but I want to be able to share what I learn about my condition and what it is like to live in a world filled with gluten.

 

So check back soon.

Where I have been…/everything is finalized

So I haven’t blogged in a while. One reason is that I get a little lazy at times or just forget. The other main reason is that I wanted to wait until after Maggie’s adoption was finalized to really get into things. Up to this point I was just trying the blogging thing on for size. Granted I have blogged in the past; I had a rather successful blog for several years that many friends and family read. But with the advent of Facebook, I was able to use my status update instead. But this blog is less about the weird things I thought about, weird stories I found, and more about my life at home with Maggie. So perhaps now that the adoption is finalized it is good time to talk about such things.

About the finalization…

So last week we headed back to where Maggie was born to finalize the adoption. I’m not really sure what “finalized” even means. It appeared to be nothing more than the state making sure we still wanted Maggie, which we of course did, and the state making sure we hadn’t hurt her yet, which we hadn’t.

It was a weird morning at court. This time I dressed down a bit; at our first court appearance I was all suit and tie; I don’t like to wear suits and ties, hence I am a therapist, I prefer sweaters! lol Last time every other guy, minus the attorneys, were more business casual, so that is how I dressed; I was much more comfortable. This time I knew where we were going; last time it was weird walking into the Family Court building, which used to be Juvenile Detention. However I still managed to forget that my belt would set off the metal detector there.

We ran into the other couple who was at court the last time. Their son was just a day younger than Maggie, so we got to compare Maggie with someone her age; Maggie was more advanced. Megan seemed to have fun re-connecting with the mom. Their adoption story was tough. They tried to have a baby for years and tried  in vitro fertilization 9 times, IVF is not cheap. We were glad to see them.

When it was our turn to go before the judge everything began to get very real for me. Our attorney asked me questions, including whether we still intended to adopt Maggie, which we did. He only asked Megan if she agreed with my answers and whether my testimony could be her testimony.

Then the best part came; the judge stated that we were officially and legally Maggie’s parents. Awesome. At that moment Maggie giggled, the judged stated that Maggie seemed to agree with her declaration and everyone in court laughed. Priceless.

We left court and the three of us went out to eat to celebrate. Megan and I ate and Maggie ended up pooping all over herself and her car seat at a restaurant that did not have changing facilities.

So now I look toward the future. Maggie is my muse and I plan to get back to chronicling my journey and my adventure as a stay at home dad, a father, a husband, a believer, a therapist, and a pretty darn good cook.

I am back.

Update on Maggie’s Sleeping

So the nights continue to go very well since ditching the swaddle; the daytime naps? Not so well! Of course it did not help it was a busy weekend and therefore we had a hard time forcing the issue. So today I am back at pushing naps. I hope to get Maggie back on schedule for her sake, and my sake as well. I like getting stuff done during her nap times.

Losing her wings

Maggie did something interesting the other night at 2:30 in the morning, she decided to roll over in her crib. Now that isn’t really that big of a deal except for the fact that she was sleeping her Halo Swaddle Sleepsack and her arms were stuck at her side. So she began to scream, and I mean really scream. Megan and I both knew what this meant, no more Swaddle Sleepsack for Maggie.

This of course might not seem like a big  problem for most parents. Many parents gave up on the whole swaddle thing early on, but Maggie loved her swaddle. In fact all one had to do is swaddle her and she would be zonked out in just a minute or two, it was amazing. So, Megan and I were both nervous about this change.

The morning started out okay as we only used a blanket to swaddle her with as Maggie went straight into her first morning nap. She awoke hungry and ready to play. She and I played for a bit and she began to show all the signs of being a tired girl, so off to the nursery. She fought it for bit, but then gave in and was zonked again. Then, our ever cute, but free to a good home, dogs began to bark and woke her up, we had visitors due to a little miscommunication between Megan and I. It really wasn’t a big deal, but I knew that Maggie was in for a rough afternoon since her big nap got interrupted. She did not want to go back to asleep once they left and she let me know it as she screamed in my ear to the point that my ear rang for a couple of hours.

Megan got home and we tried and failed to get Maggie to sleep. Maggie would lay down and be screaming two minutes later. We gave up on the whole napping idea for the afternoon and began to just hope she would be exhausted at bed time.

After some sweet playtime in her jumperoo it was time for bed. No swaddle, no blanket, just a cozy sleeper for Maggie. We laid her down and she fussed. We came back to her room, tried to comfort her, gave her the bink and left. We left and came back after she cried for another 10 minutes. I went back up and repeated the comforting and left the room. This time she fussed, but then stopped, she was asleep. Megan and I went up tp check on her. Maggie had rolled over and was zonked, Megan freaked out – being the pediatrician and all.

The result was Maggie slept 12 hours last night. She did demand a bottle at 3:30 am, which was okay since she did not eat a lot yesterday due to lack of napping. But still she slept great.

This morning? Well, this morning I took the “wings” off the sleepsack and turned it just into a plain old sleepsack for her to sleep in. So far just fussing and making a lot of noise, but she is asleep.  She never ceases to amaze me.

Paper or Plastic?

When I was sixteen my dad shoved me out the door and told me to get a job; okay not shoved, but still told me to get a job. One of my first jobs was as a bag boy at Schnucks in Des Peres Missouri. It was a good job that I had for the summer. I quit once they tried to force me to join a union. I just wanted money, not give to someone else my hard earned money. I wasn’t going to make a career out of bagging groceries.

When I got the job, they sent me to their training store. This was a former, unused store, that was filled with fake food and cash registers. The cashiers would practice ringing up the food and we baggers practiced bagging the food. We were taught simple things like not making the bag weigh 60 pounds for the older customers, put light stuff and breakable stuff on top, keep fresh meat away from the Draino, etc. I spent several hours there bagging and re-bagging fake food until they thought I knew enough to be released upon the public.

Apparently, this is no longer the norm, training, at my local store. If you ask for plastic, what you are telling the bagger is that you only want two items per bag and that you like having at least 9 plastic bag every time you go to the store. If you ask for paper, you are telling the bagger that they should treat these stronger bigger bags just like the plastic, but go for about 3 to 4 items instead.  Sometimes I even try to help them out by placed my food on the belt the way I want it bagged; frozen and cold food together, veggies and fruit together, boxed foods together, etc. They tend to ignore my help and put half the frozen corn in one bag with my Life cereal and put the rest of the frozen corn with my raw meat. One time they used a whole paper bag just for my eggs and one whole bag for two bags of chips, no thought combining them.

Based on my experience I am left to assume that my local store does not have a training program or a training location. In fact I am sure that when a kid begins to bag well that they just promote them to cashier instead where he or she will never bag again.

In the dark everything is worse

Last night Megan, Maggi,e and I went to dinner at the new Cheddar’s. We were planning on using the gift card I got from work, but left it at home. We had wanted to try the place for a while now. While waiting outside we discovered Maggie needed a diaper change, by “we” I mean Megan as she got poop on her finger…but that’s another story!

So I went inside to find out of they had a changing station in the restroom or if we would need to use the back the Outlook, which we have done several times. The hostess stated that they had a changing station, but only in the women’s restroom. Okay so men/dads aren’t allowed to change a poopy diaper? If I was out with the guys I would have had to use the back to the Outlook.  Of course on the other hand perhaps we might have to eat exclusively at Cheddar’s as long as Maggie is in a diaper….

From what Megan told me, the problem with the changing station is that it was dark and hard to see. Apparently the folks at Cheddar’s think it is easy to change in poopy diaper in the dark! I’m all for mood lighting, but in the restroom?

Had one other problem with Cheddar’s last night. We asked for a sling to put Maggie’s carrier in at the table when I checked in with the hostess; she stated that would not be a problem. So when we were seated I asked for the sling or at least a high chair to flip over. The server looked at me funny and stated, “Let me go check.” She walked off to talk to a boss, pointed out our location, and then came back.

“I’m sorry we can’t use a sling at this table because it would get in the way and we aren’t allowed to flip the high chairs over to use either.”

I was confused. “Well, where should I put her carrier then?”

“I can put it in that hallway,” she replied.

“No thanks, I will put it in the booth with us. I like to have my daughter with us at meal time, not off by herself.” Okay, so did not say that last part, but I should have.

If the hostesses knew we needed a sling, why seat us at a table where there couldn’t be a sling? I wonder if they need to create a map of the table showing where slings and high chairs are acceptable.

What’s for dinner? Weber’s Yakitori Chicken

Yakitori Chicken

Grilled Zucchini tossed in soy sauce and a few other things

I pulled this recipe from Weber’s Big Book of Grilling. I am made it twice now and I am sure I will be making this on over and over again.  This last time we served it for Megan’s family with Cook’s Illustrated’s Basic Rice Pilaf.  We also served grilled zucchini and sugar snap peas.  There were no left overs, I guess I should have made more. So here you go and as usual my notes will be at the bottom.

Ingredients:

MARINADE:

• 3/4 cup soy sauce
• 1/2 cup mirin (sweet rice wine)
• 1/4 cup ketchup
• 2 Tbs. rice vinegar
• 2 tsp. minced garlic
• 1 tsp. asian sesame oil

FOOD:

• 2 lbs. boneless, skinless chicken breast or thigh meat
• 2 medium red bell peppers
• 6 pearl onions
• vegetable oil

Directions: 

MARINADE:

In a small bowl, whisk together the marinade ingredients.

FOOD:

Rinse the chicken under cold water and pat dry with paper towels. Cut into 1-1/2-inch chunks. Remove the stem, ribs and seeds from the bell peppers and cut into 1-inch chunks. Cut the pearl onions in half.

Place the chicken, bell peppers and pearl onions in a large, resealable plastic bag and pour in the marinade. Press the air out of the bag and seal tightly. Turn the bag to distribute the marinade, place in a bowl, refrigerate for 30 minutes to 2 hours, turning occasionally.

Remove the chicken, bell peppers and pearl onions from the bag and reserve the marinade. Pour the marinade into a small saucepan, bring to a boil and boil for 1 full minute. Remove from the heat and set aside.

Thread the chicken, bell peppers and pearl onions onto the skewers. Lightly brush or spray with vegetable oil. Grill over direct-medium heat until the meat is firm and the vegetables are tender, about 8-10 minutes, turning and basting with the marinade once halfway through grilling time.

Serve warm with long-grain white rice.

Notes:

This is one of the few recipes lately that I leave largely untouched. In the last version I used both white and red pearl onions; both are tasty and bring different favors to the table. I added the red because the white were small. Therefore, I might switch to only red since they are a bit larger and therefore easier to skewer. I highly recommend the Basic Rice Pilaf over just plain rice.

What’s for Dinner? Adobo Grilled Chicken Salad!

Last night I cooked something yummy for dinner! I made a few changes to the original recipe, so you can find the original here.

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for drizzling
• 1/2 medium yellow onion, chopped
• 4 garlic cloves, minced
• Coarse salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 3 medium tomatoes, chopped
• 2 chipotle chiles in adobo, chopped (remove the seeds to make it less spicy), plus 2 tablespoons the adobo sauce
• 1/2 cup water
• 1 (15-ounce) can pinto beans, drained and rinsed
• 5 cups baby spinach leaves or mixed greens
• 4 ounces feta cheese, crumbled (1/2 cup)
• 4 Adobo Grilled Chicken Breasts, sliced, recipe follows
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro leaves
• Lime wedges, for serving

Directions

Heat the tablespoon of oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the onion and cook until soft and translucent, about 4 minutes. Stir in the garlic and cook until it’s fragrant, about 1 minute. Season with salt and pepper. Add the tomatoes, chipotles with adobo sauce, and 1/2 cup water, cooking until slightly thick, about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Mix in the beans and cook until heated through, season with salt and pepper. Remove from the heat.

Place the  a handful of greens on plates. Divide the bean mixture between the plates and top with a sprinkle of feta. Fan the sliced chicken on top and garnish with chopped cilantro. Drizzle with a little olive oil and serve with lime wedges.

Adobo Chicken:

• 1 tablespoon lemon pepper
• 1 tablespoon garlic powder
• 1 tablespoon onion powder or flakes
• 1 tablespoon dried oregano
• 1 tablespoon dried parsley flakes
• 1 tablespoon achiote powder
• 1/2 tablespoon ground cumin
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 6 boneless skinless chicken breasts
• Nonstick cooking spray or oil

Combine all of the ingredients in a small glass jar with an airtight lid and shake to blend. Store in a cool, dry place for up to 2 weeks.

I used my meat tenderizer to flatten the chicken to make it more even. Then season chicken with the adobo seasoning. Grill until juices run clear.

Notes:

• Be sure to de-seed the chipotle peppers unless you like it hot. Ours was very smokey ans spicy, but we like spicy food.

Overall this was a great dish. I am thinking about doing the adobo chicken again and then cover it in the sauce, minus the beans, that I used an emulsion blender on.

A Small Change

I have a minor change to discuss in my role as a stay at home father…

A couple of weeks ago I attended an area counselor/therapist network meeting at Midwest Anxiety Treatment Center, called the Morning Buzz. At the meeting I met Dr. Bruce Cappo of Clinical Associates. I introduced myself and let him know about my past experience of working with sexual offenders, which is who he works with as well; in fact he has been DCCCA’s main competitor in the area. We talked briefly and he told me to give a call once I was interested in working again. It was a good meeting.

About two weeks later Bruce called me, his therapist was moving to Texas and he wanted to discuss whether I would be interested in working with offenders again and doing substance abuse counseling. I told him i was interested in the offenders, but not the substance abuse because I have zero experience there. As we talked I learned that he needed someone to work one night for group and one afternoon for individual sessions. It seemed like a good opportunity, but I was not interested in having to put Maggie into daycare, since that I why I left my DCCCA job in the first place. Bruce and I continued to talk and I discussed things with Megan.  We both prayed and a felt like God was leading me to this opportunity for a reason. This job gives me the opportunity to move up and do more if I want at some point. At DCCCA there was no place to move up; great I could maybe become a Clinical Supervisor, but then what? Would it be worth the extra 3K? Nope! At DCCCA I had three people over me, telling me what to do. I also had the State sticking their noses in the treatment a bit too much in my opinion. At CA, I’m the guy! Sure CA is still Bruce’s and he is the one who bids on contract and hires and fires, but I don’t have a Clinical Supervisor, a Program Coordinator, or a Program Director to report to; I work on my own. At CA I just need to follow the contract, email my notes to the office manager, and keep the Feds update with the treatment progress, since all my clients are Federal Parole or Probation clients.

So Megan decided to move her half day off and I have been able to push back the night group, so Maggie will continue to be with us and not need part-time daycare which was very important for me if I was going to take this job. God seems to know what he is doing and I am willing to follow.

Only one downside. The stay at home dad play group meets the same day as I work. so we might only be able to go for a like an hour to 90 minutes.

To group or not to group, that is the question!

I have been at home for a little over a month now. Things are starting to settle down and I feel like I have a better understand of what I am doing in regards to Maggie. The question now is Maggie (am I) ready to find a weekly play group? Of course there are a ton of play groups out there, but there is only one that I am aware of that is for stay at home dads, like me. They meet twice a week; once at a park or field trip and once at a home. They also meet once a month for dad’s night out and visit a local eatery/pub/bar.  I e-mailed the guy in charge from their site to get more information. I have already heard back from him and have been invited to attend next week. Am I ready for this?